So so much

I hurt myself so much so much so much.

Will you ever know how much I opened up myself to you? will you know how much pain i let out and let in?

I have left though are fragments of the sanity I experienced with you.  Those fragment are as fleeting as your scent, as your taste.

Am I alone in this abyss of pain? Do I deserve relief from this torture? After all I created this hell, didn't I?

She's gone.  And I miss her gentle touch, her soft voice, her loving gaze, her kind eyes, her passionate embrace.  She's gone, and I chased her away with my folly and cowardice and false bravado.  She's gone, and I am going too.